Should the Flag Lapel Pin Panic Grip America?

Worcester, Mass., May 2: Libertarian Presidential candidate George Phillies today spoke out on the national flag lapel pin crisis. "Most Americans never noticed there was a flag lapel pin crisis, not after thousands of our men and women died in Iraq and the budget deficit headed for $500 billion a year. Fortunately, moderators at a recent Democratic Presidential debate cleared things up, at least for people worried about jobs, plummeting real estate prices, soaring gasoline prices, and skyrocketing food and medical costs, not to mention the sad state of education. Most of us would never have guessed that the flag lapel pin crisis is more important.

"I respect our flag," Phillies said. "That means I don't use it as costume jewelry. In fact, I almost never wear lapel pins. Why? By geographic adoption, I'm a Yankee. We Yankees know thrift is a virtue. Every time you stick a pin through your suit, you damage the fabric. That's pointless waste.

"More seriously," Phillies continued, "I'm campaigning on issues real Americans actually care about. The War. Civil liberties. Ending fiscal lunacy in Washington. Education, energy, and the environment. Medical care costs. The economy. And I'm giving Americans sensible libertarian answers, answers that my fellow Americans will support. Those answers will give us a better America."

-- 30 --

Contact Information: